Just some thoughts on the Oscars...
Love Jodie and how apropos that she introed the tribute to the departed, the real departed. If only she'd lighten up a little but it must be tough, as the line in Broadcast News states, it must be tough always being the smartest one in the room. And now we've got Coppola, Lucas and Spielberg and with very little trouble, Lucas could have the Flock of Seagulls hair-do. He's 80% there now. Spielberg is doing the flat-top combover thing and as someone follically challenged, Steven, just accept. The thing under George Lucas's neck also vibrates and resonates deeply when he's trying to attract a mate as in all large amphibians. They gave the Oscar to Martin Scorsese and he is smaller than Ennio Morricone and has eyebrows straight from the magnetic iron filings game. They keep cutting to Nicholson and he has somehow morphed into Lex Luthor, but amazingly Scorsese is doing shtick. He has a 7 year old daughter? Who knew? Oddly enough, Diane Keaton just said Babel and paused and it was if she was defining her acting style and not naming the first nominee for Best Picture. She's just so wacky. Again Nicholson. Shouldn't he be driving Norma Desmond around, or burying a monkey??? The Departed, Best Picture. Good movie, maybe even very good but.... Forest Whitaker started out giving a remarkable, wonderful, inspiring speech but then reality kicks in and they have to mention agents and production companies and all the class and meaning leaves and it becomes a full page ad in Variety thanking agencies and financial bonding companies. I would've loved it if Helen Mirren shook and shimmmied and moved her giant breasts and said "Judi Dench is a wonderful actress. But does she have these???" Alan Arkin needs to play a Jewish crime boss in a film. He is what we all should be at 72 or 85 or however old he is. And doesn't he always look as if he has a great, bile and invective filled speech ready to burst out but he thinks it through and doesn't deliver it??? Jennifer Hudson will probably end up on Lifetime, playing the giant black woman in a succession of giant black women biopics. Aretha sometime in the future, Queen Latifah in the Latifah story maybe as the young Latifah, or just plain Latifah, and she can stunt double Beyonce's butt. Bill Monahan, love ya. Never spit out the gum, bro. There's only a billlion people watching. Way to show how classless American society really is. Michael Arndt, shout out to the dead father. Nice touch. But you didn't dedicate your Oscar to him, as some of the others did. Milena Canonero, who I think won the Preakness 30 years ago, dedicated her Oscar to Mama, Hugh Hudson, and her "great master" Stanley Kubrick. Now that's a dedication. Europeans and Latin Americans are just so much cooler than us. Although Clint Eastwood knows Italian. Didn't you get the feeling that he was just making it up to keep the show moving? Like Roberto Benigni mistranslating the Nazi guard's words in Life is Beautiful? Clint even said "protagonista". He, not Nicholson, is the epitome of cool. I repeat, he plays jazz piano. Up in the balcony with Morricone was Quincy Jones, wearing some sort of silk thing straight out of Curse of the Golden Flower. Quincy has been part of the music scene in America forever. Can anyone name one piece of music that Quincy Jones has written or is responsible for? I know he's always called a genius, but c'mon, name that one song, album, whatever, that he's famous for. Seinfeld was spotted in the audience prior to giving the Documentary Short Subject while they gave the award to Inconvenient Truth. He looked so incredibly disinterested, as if global warming won't be affecting him. Jerry, the house in the Hamptons? Soon to be underwater. Yes, even you. Bring cereal and Superman so you'll have something to talk about as you sink under the waves and the planet dies. Sherry Lansing, nice Hersholt award. Were you going for the Forest Whitaker lazy eye thing or was there an incision somewhere that was snapping your facial flesh back into place? Oooh, nasty. And your 70 year old husband, Billy??? What are you, some meth lab couple from Palmdale? Sherry and Billy. Maybe if your Brentwood or Malibu house explodes out of nowhere the meth idea won't be so crazy. Special thanks to Ari Sandel for explaining just what live action short films are. Kudos to Sid Ganis for being 4 feet tall and still having the blonde trophy wife. And for all you Republicans, hear this loud and clear just as Ellen said it - Without blacks, Jews and gays, there'd be no Oscars. (She then added there'd be no people named Oscar. Close. Go to East L.A. Oscars all over the place. De la Hoya, anyone. Later. Go rent, when they're available, Children of Men and Pan's Labyrinth. Still the two best movies of last year!!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Son of More Oscars 2007
Supporting Actress will be a surprise. Either the kid of the babysitter will win. The Academy does not like TV and that's where Jennifer Hudson came from, American Idol. The Japanese girl from Babel was in the story that most people felt didn't belong, although she went commando long before Lindsay Lohan, Paris, or Britney, but that's not enough. Sharon Stone, BTW, will never ever win an Oscar. Although the French did give her their artistic medal, for her body of work. Write your own joke there.
Adapted Screenplay - Children of Men was brilliant, Borat was brilliantly funny and the other three had their moments of literary lucidity. I'd be happy for either of the first two. But especially Borat.
Original Screenplay - Pan's Labyrinth was the second best movie of last year and Del Toro deserves to be recognized for his writing, as well as Best Foreign Film. The storytelling, the images, the words, brilliant.
Animated Feature - It's L.A., it's Freeways, it's Prius vs. Hummer, it's CARS.
Documentary Feature - AL GORE, AL GORE, AL GORE. If he wins this AND the Nobel Peace Prize that he's been nominated for, he'd better run for President. Of the United Earth!!! That resume sounds suspiciously like the good guy genius Prez in some futuristic 50s sci-fi flick. But he's real. And young people would actually vote. Please, please, please.
Documentary Short Subject - Which one was about the Holocaust or Holocaust survivors or the families of Holocaust survivors? Which one was about people with differing abilitiea? Which one was about impoverished people fighting the vestiges of colonialism AND the ravages of AIDS? That documentary short subject will win!!!
Original Song - And I'm Telling you I'm Not Going can only be sung by the two Jennifers, Holliday and Hudson, and it couldn't be nominated as it was written for a Broadway show over 30 years ago! I defy anyone to sing any of the three nominated songs from Dreamgirls. Randy Newman, a son of the Academy and the man who wrote I Love L.A. wins.
As for the others, good luck and enjoy the singular pleasure of just being nominated. Keep telling yourselves that. And as always, war is over if you want it.
Adapted Screenplay - Children of Men was brilliant, Borat was brilliantly funny and the other three had their moments of literary lucidity. I'd be happy for either of the first two. But especially Borat.
Original Screenplay - Pan's Labyrinth was the second best movie of last year and Del Toro deserves to be recognized for his writing, as well as Best Foreign Film. The storytelling, the images, the words, brilliant.
Animated Feature - It's L.A., it's Freeways, it's Prius vs. Hummer, it's CARS.
Documentary Feature - AL GORE, AL GORE, AL GORE. If he wins this AND the Nobel Peace Prize that he's been nominated for, he'd better run for President. Of the United Earth!!! That resume sounds suspiciously like the good guy genius Prez in some futuristic 50s sci-fi flick. But he's real. And young people would actually vote. Please, please, please.
Documentary Short Subject - Which one was about the Holocaust or Holocaust survivors or the families of Holocaust survivors? Which one was about people with differing abilitiea? Which one was about impoverished people fighting the vestiges of colonialism AND the ravages of AIDS? That documentary short subject will win!!!
Original Song - And I'm Telling you I'm Not Going can only be sung by the two Jennifers, Holliday and Hudson, and it couldn't be nominated as it was written for a Broadway show over 30 years ago! I defy anyone to sing any of the three nominated songs from Dreamgirls. Randy Newman, a son of the Academy and the man who wrote I Love L.A. wins.
As for the others, good luck and enjoy the singular pleasure of just being nominated. Keep telling yourselves that. And as always, war is over if you want it.
More Oscars 2007 - Actors and Actresses and Swag Bags, Oh My!
Best Actress is Mirren's to lose and if she does it's because people just found out she's married to Taylor Hackford. Didn't he do An Officer and a Gentleman? Isn't the Queen just Richard Gere and Debra Winger 30 years down the road? A director with the word Hack in his name? Shouldn't he be doing Wayans Bros. or Sandler movies? Shouldn't it be Joel HackSchumacher?
Best Actor should be Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin Dada, if only for the weird lazy eye thing. Oh, that's a real physical problem? Sorry. Then he wins on talent and ability. And the weird lazy eye thing. Leo is good but Blood Diamond is just too much liberal guilt and not one celebrity client of Harry Winston's jewelry asked for the provenance of their loaned for the Oscars diamonds. Ryan Gosling was wonderful and someday someone will see this movie. Peter O'Toole will always be Lawrence and he has won an Honorary Oscar and Venus was a mere trifle, so no. Will Smith is beloved but the Academy does not reward misspellings. And the many Jewish members of the Academy remember Entebbe, so Forest sees the trees tonight.
Supporting Actor - Arkin is a national treasure and please rent Joshua Then and Now, a forgotten classic, to see him play this role 30 years earlier. Jackie Earle Haley had balls to play that part and lost them to the part but not enough for the voters. Djimon Hounsou was not in Dreamgirls but he does walk through most of West Africa in Blood Diamond. Almost covering as much ground as Keaton and Beatty as they walk across Russia in Reds. And if I have to hear about the dignity he brings to another role I will simply point out that he is given roles that are written as dignified. Please give the WRITERS credit for creating that character and that character trait!!! So it's Wahlberg or Murphy. I loved Wahlberg in The Departed, the best thing in the film. And Murphy wasn't in a fat suit or being arrested for some weird sexual transgression. So is it the guy who was Dirk Dingler or the guy who dingles his dangle and gets arrested for it from time to time? If there's justice, Wahlberg surprises and wins. If there's liberal guilt over Dreamgirls not getting a Best Picture nod, Murphy wins.
Best Actor should be Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin Dada, if only for the weird lazy eye thing. Oh, that's a real physical problem? Sorry. Then he wins on talent and ability. And the weird lazy eye thing. Leo is good but Blood Diamond is just too much liberal guilt and not one celebrity client of Harry Winston's jewelry asked for the provenance of their loaned for the Oscars diamonds. Ryan Gosling was wonderful and someday someone will see this movie. Peter O'Toole will always be Lawrence and he has won an Honorary Oscar and Venus was a mere trifle, so no. Will Smith is beloved but the Academy does not reward misspellings. And the many Jewish members of the Academy remember Entebbe, so Forest sees the trees tonight.
Supporting Actor - Arkin is a national treasure and please rent Joshua Then and Now, a forgotten classic, to see him play this role 30 years earlier. Jackie Earle Haley had balls to play that part and lost them to the part but not enough for the voters. Djimon Hounsou was not in Dreamgirls but he does walk through most of West Africa in Blood Diamond. Almost covering as much ground as Keaton and Beatty as they walk across Russia in Reds. And if I have to hear about the dignity he brings to another role I will simply point out that he is given roles that are written as dignified. Please give the WRITERS credit for creating that character and that character trait!!! So it's Wahlberg or Murphy. I loved Wahlberg in The Departed, the best thing in the film. And Murphy wasn't in a fat suit or being arrested for some weird sexual transgression. So is it the guy who was Dirk Dingler or the guy who dingles his dangle and gets arrested for it from time to time? If there's justice, Wahlberg surprises and wins. If there's liberal guilt over Dreamgirls not getting a Best Picture nod, Murphy wins.
2007 Oscars - Ellen makes Britney hair jokes,world crumbles
Comfy, down-home, just so pleasant Ellen DeGeneres is hosting the Oscars shortly and as the world crumbles and the US moves closer and closer to Roman Empire style fascism (we even get the word from their use of fasces - for god's sake, i think they're even on the back of the dime!!!) wouldn't it be great if in between the Anna Nicole and James Brown aren' t buried yet jokes, and the Britney shaving her head and in and out of rehab daily jokes, wouldn't it be great if daughter of N'awlins DeGeneres took the Smirking Chimp to task and asked point-blank why he and his administration have forsaken the people and the city of New Orleans??? I bet she'd get a standing ovation. After reading last week about pallettes of money airlifted to Iraq and subsequently disappearing, it is clear that our Iraq policy is like an eating disorder, binge and surge, binge and surge. With the same dire results - unhealthiness leading to premature death. And still Guiliani leads any Democrat in winning in 2008!!!
With that note, on to the Oscars.
I saw almost everything nominated for almost every category this year - thanks to screenings at the Arclight and studio DVDs. So here goes:
Best Picture - Sadly, the single Best Picture last year was Children of Men and Cuaron was the Best Director. But the geniuses at that studio released it around Xmas (Santa loves a post-apocalyptic thinker) which was too late for the top reviewers to even include it in the Best of Lists at year's end. Que Lastima, Senor Cuaron. So instead, Letters from Iwo Jima gets the "Eastwood knows what war really is" vote, which is almost an anti-war vote. 62 years after WWII we get a film from the enemy POV. This means, of course, that in 2069, the Repiblican Party will finally understand the first thing about the Middle East/the Muslim World. Prepare for 6 decades of death and destruction. Babel is the ultimate multicultural document but we get beaten over the head with the constant theme of "we don't hear each other, we don't listen to each other". If the powers of Hollywood llisten to their housekeepers and nannies, this wins in a runaway. But they don't. They have yet to hear or listen to their many Marias and Luis's. In a year of humanity and humanizing films, the Queen, or rather, the person of the Queen of England, is far too inhuman to win. Picture, that is. Mirren is a lock for Best Actress. But that's for later. Little Miss Sunshine might just spliut the important votes and sneak in but too many people in L.A. can spell pastiche. So, no go. So it's Scorsese, for a minor work, after getting jobbed for all the major ones. The Departed is at best a "crowd pleaser" (thanks, Alex) and features the two most egregious moments in a Marty Eyebrows film - that lame shot of the rat at the end (WE GET IT! WE GET IT! IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT RATS!!!) and the scene with Leo in the doorway and Vera Famigna (apologies for spelling) actually says something like, "You look so vulnerable", taking us out of the movie completely and into the heads of teenage fan magazines and Leo's agents. But The Departed it is.
Best Director - Or not. Can they give the Best Picture to Clint's film but Best Director to Marty? Watch them do the opposite - Best Picture to Marty but Best Director to Clint. The man's a 100 and he made 2 movies at once. And he plays jazz piano.
Just watch. As Art Fleming used to say on Jeopardy, Stephen Frears, Paul Greengrass, Alejandro Inarrittu, just watching.
With that note, on to the Oscars.
I saw almost everything nominated for almost every category this year - thanks to screenings at the Arclight and studio DVDs. So here goes:
Best Picture - Sadly, the single Best Picture last year was Children of Men and Cuaron was the Best Director. But the geniuses at that studio released it around Xmas (Santa loves a post-apocalyptic thinker) which was too late for the top reviewers to even include it in the Best of Lists at year's end. Que Lastima, Senor Cuaron. So instead, Letters from Iwo Jima gets the "Eastwood knows what war really is" vote, which is almost an anti-war vote. 62 years after WWII we get a film from the enemy POV. This means, of course, that in 2069, the Repiblican Party will finally understand the first thing about the Middle East/the Muslim World. Prepare for 6 decades of death and destruction. Babel is the ultimate multicultural document but we get beaten over the head with the constant theme of "we don't hear each other, we don't listen to each other". If the powers of Hollywood llisten to their housekeepers and nannies, this wins in a runaway. But they don't. They have yet to hear or listen to their many Marias and Luis's. In a year of humanity and humanizing films, the Queen, or rather, the person of the Queen of England, is far too inhuman to win. Picture, that is. Mirren is a lock for Best Actress. But that's for later. Little Miss Sunshine might just spliut the important votes and sneak in but too many people in L.A. can spell pastiche. So, no go. So it's Scorsese, for a minor work, after getting jobbed for all the major ones. The Departed is at best a "crowd pleaser" (thanks, Alex) and features the two most egregious moments in a Marty Eyebrows film - that lame shot of the rat at the end (WE GET IT! WE GET IT! IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT RATS!!!) and the scene with Leo in the doorway and Vera Famigna (apologies for spelling) actually says something like, "You look so vulnerable", taking us out of the movie completely and into the heads of teenage fan magazines and Leo's agents. But The Departed it is.
Best Director - Or not. Can they give the Best Picture to Clint's film but Best Director to Marty? Watch them do the opposite - Best Picture to Marty but Best Director to Clint. The man's a 100 and he made 2 movies at once. And he plays jazz piano.
Just watch. As Art Fleming used to say on Jeopardy, Stephen Frears, Paul Greengrass, Alejandro Inarrittu, just watching.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Worst. Super Bowl. Ever.
Clearly, 41/XLI was the worst of them all and what I have yet to hear is how gutless Lovie Smith was for not pulling Rex Grossman, by far the worst QB ever to play in the Roman numeraled-one and the worst performance in one, quite a daily double! If Lovie pulls him at the half, he gives the Bears a chance to win. If he pullls him late in the third quarter, the Bears still have a chance to win. If he pulls him at the start of the fourth quarter, he gives his Bears a chance to win. But he was gutless and went with a guy who played pathetically bad. For weeks now his defense and his special teams and his running game and even Grossman playing just well enough to not lose, had Lovie and the Bears saying all the right things. Rex is our quarterback, Rex is 15-3. Rex is the starter. Bull! And the team closed ranks and parrotted their coach. Football is all about lockstep. But I'd like to hear what Urlacher has to say now. What anybody on that defense that was on the field all day has to say now. What Devin Hester has to say now. The defense gave up 22 points. Not bad to the #1 offense in the NFL and not bad for not sacking Manning till the end. And not bad for being on the field forever and giving up field position often when the offense, read Grossman, gave the ball up. (Although Benson and the receivers put the ball on the ground quite a bit.) But Rex, you were no Wonder-Dog. You were simply a dog. And Lovie, your job is to put players on the field who give your team the best chance to win. At the half everyone knew it wasn't Rex's night. Like Brando in On the Waterfront, it wasn't his night. But he won't get the big fight in the ballpark ever again. Bears, drop him, sign Jeff Garcia, and with that defense, you will be back next year. And you will win. On the good side, I did win my three bet teaser - Colts +2.5, Bears +14.5 and under 56.5. Yes. Vegas, baby!!!
Saturday, February 3, 2007
super bowl-my god, i've seen them all!!!
So this is my XLIst Super Bowl and included in that is the great game in person with family and friends at the Rose Bowl when the Giants beat the Broncos 39-20 with Simms going 22 for 25 and my Giants finally winning the Lombardi Trophy (first of two! remember Scott Norwood?). I love this match-up - anytime you have the #1 offense going against the #1 defense you have the makings of a great game. Amazingly, when this has happened in Super Bowls past, 4 or 5 times I think I read, the #1 DEFENSE has always won. I actually think it has a good chance of happening again. And here's why:
The Bears are going to play the Colts the same way that Giant team beat the Bills once upon a time. Sadly, the rules prevent them from mugging Andre Reed, I mean Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne, downfield, but they will use their Cover 2 and rely on Urlacher downfield to watch Dallas Clark. I actually like the Bears two-headed running back, Jones/Benson, better than Addai/Rhodes of the Colts right now. They run very hard, very strong. And the Colts will not be able to stop them for the entire game. While I feel the Bears D will be able to stop Addai and Rhodes. If Manning throws 40 times, Bears win. The Bears rotate defensive ends, have the two best linebackers on the field (Urlacher and Briggs), Harper has the high-ankle sprain, Bob Sanders is dinged, Devin Hester is the X-factor providing field position on punts and kickoffs, and the pressure is all on Peyton to win. The Bears can just play as full touchdown underdogs, both teams have great kickers, although Vinatieri is special, and Grossman, as lame as he has been, does not make his team lose. And he is back in Florida where he played college ball. I think there are so few expectations of him that if Hester gives him a short field two or three times Sunday, Grossman and the running backs will come through. I look for a 2 or 3 point game, hopefully decided at the end. And don't be surprised if it ends up Bears 26, Colts 24. And even though he isn't the coach any longer, as they used to say on SNL, Ditka'd find a way!
BTW, congrats to Thurman Thomas, who almost beat the Giants himself back in that Norwood game, on making the Pro Football Hall of Fame. To Roger Wehrli, a great DB back when the Cardinals always had an interesting white guy back there - Larry Wilson, Wehrli, Pat Fisher - congrats, Charlie Sanders, great tight end for the Lions back in the day, always liked him on those Thanksgiving games, congrats. Gene Hickerson, you blocked for the best, Jim Brown, and then for Leroy Kelly. Congrats. And Bruce Mathews, all those years, all those positions, all those consecutive games. Wow. Congratulations.
The Bears are going to play the Colts the same way that Giant team beat the Bills once upon a time. Sadly, the rules prevent them from mugging Andre Reed, I mean Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne, downfield, but they will use their Cover 2 and rely on Urlacher downfield to watch Dallas Clark. I actually like the Bears two-headed running back, Jones/Benson, better than Addai/Rhodes of the Colts right now. They run very hard, very strong. And the Colts will not be able to stop them for the entire game. While I feel the Bears D will be able to stop Addai and Rhodes. If Manning throws 40 times, Bears win. The Bears rotate defensive ends, have the two best linebackers on the field (Urlacher and Briggs), Harper has the high-ankle sprain, Bob Sanders is dinged, Devin Hester is the X-factor providing field position on punts and kickoffs, and the pressure is all on Peyton to win. The Bears can just play as full touchdown underdogs, both teams have great kickers, although Vinatieri is special, and Grossman, as lame as he has been, does not make his team lose. And he is back in Florida where he played college ball. I think there are so few expectations of him that if Hester gives him a short field two or three times Sunday, Grossman and the running backs will come through. I look for a 2 or 3 point game, hopefully decided at the end. And don't be surprised if it ends up Bears 26, Colts 24. And even though he isn't the coach any longer, as they used to say on SNL, Ditka'd find a way!
BTW, congrats to Thurman Thomas, who almost beat the Giants himself back in that Norwood game, on making the Pro Football Hall of Fame. To Roger Wehrli, a great DB back when the Cardinals always had an interesting white guy back there - Larry Wilson, Wehrli, Pat Fisher - congrats, Charlie Sanders, great tight end for the Lions back in the day, always liked him on those Thanksgiving games, congrats. Gene Hickerson, you blocked for the best, Jim Brown, and then for Leroy Kelly. Congrats. And Bruce Mathews, all those years, all those positions, all those consecutive games. Wow. Congratulations.
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