Jodie Foster is a more masculine Michael J. Fox & other Oscar Notes

Just some thoughts on the Oscars...
Love Jodie and how apropos that she introed the tribute to the departed, the real departed. If only she'd lighten up a little but it must be tough, as the line in Broadcast News states, it must be tough always being the smartest one in the room. And now we've got Coppola, Lucas and Spielberg and with very little trouble, Lucas could have the Flock of Seagulls hair-do. He's 80% there now. Spielberg is doing the flat-top combover thing and as someone follically challenged, Steven, just accept. The thing under George Lucas's neck also vibrates and resonates deeply when he's trying to attract a mate as in all large amphibians. They gave the Oscar to Martin Scorsese and he is smaller than Ennio Morricone and has eyebrows straight from the magnetic iron filings game. They keep cutting to Nicholson and he has somehow morphed into Lex Luthor, but amazingly Scorsese is doing shtick. He has a 7 year old daughter? Who knew? Oddly enough, Diane Keaton just said Babel and paused and it was if she was defining her acting style and not naming the first nominee for Best Picture. She's just so wacky. Again Nicholson. Shouldn't he be driving Norma Desmond around, or burying a monkey??? The Departed, Best Picture. Good movie, maybe even very good but.... Forest Whitaker started out giving a remarkable, wonderful, inspiring speech but then reality kicks in and they have to mention agents and production companies and all the class and meaning leaves and it becomes a full page ad in Variety thanking agencies and financial bonding companies. I would've loved it if Helen Mirren shook and shimmmied and moved her giant breasts and said "Judi Dench is a wonderful actress. But does she have these???" Alan Arkin needs to play a Jewish crime boss in a film. He is what we all should be at 72 or 85 or however old he is. And doesn't he always look as if he has a great, bile and invective filled speech ready to burst out but he thinks it through and doesn't deliver it??? Jennifer Hudson will probably end up on Lifetime, playing the giant black woman in a succession of giant black women biopics. Aretha sometime in the future, Queen Latifah in the Latifah story maybe as the young Latifah, or just plain Latifah, and she can stunt double Beyonce's butt. Bill Monahan, love ya. Never spit out the gum, bro. There's only a billlion people watching. Way to show how classless American society really is. Michael Arndt, shout out to the dead father. Nice touch. But you didn't dedicate your Oscar to him, as some of the others did. Milena Canonero, who I think won the Preakness 30 years ago, dedicated her Oscar to Mama, Hugh Hudson, and her "great master" Stanley Kubrick. Now that's a dedication. Europeans and Latin Americans are just so much cooler than us. Although Clint Eastwood knows Italian. Didn't you get the feeling that he was just making it up to keep the show moving? Like Roberto Benigni mistranslating the Nazi guard's words in Life is Beautiful? Clint even said "protagonista". He, not Nicholson, is the epitome of cool. I repeat, he plays jazz piano. Up in the balcony with Morricone was Quincy Jones, wearing some sort of silk thing straight out of Curse of the Golden Flower. Quincy has been part of the music scene in America forever. Can anyone name one piece of music that Quincy Jones has written or is responsible for? I know he's always called a genius, but c'mon, name that one song, album, whatever, that he's famous for. Seinfeld was spotted in the audience prior to giving the Documentary Short Subject while they gave the award to Inconvenient Truth. He looked so incredibly disinterested, as if global warming won't be affecting him. Jerry, the house in the Hamptons? Soon to be underwater. Yes, even you. Bring cereal and Superman so you'll have something to talk about as you sink under the waves and the planet dies. Sherry Lansing, nice Hersholt award. Were you going for the Forest Whitaker lazy eye thing or was there an incision somewhere that was snapping your facial flesh back into place? Oooh, nasty. And your 70 year old husband, Billy??? What are you, some meth lab couple from Palmdale? Sherry and Billy. Maybe if your Brentwood or Malibu house explodes out of nowhere the meth idea won't be so crazy. Special thanks to Ari Sandel for explaining just what live action short films are. Kudos to Sid Ganis for being 4 feet tall and still having the blonde trophy wife. And for all you Republicans, hear this loud and clear just as Ellen said it - Without blacks, Jews and gays, there'd be no Oscars. (She then added there'd be no people named Oscar. Close. Go to East L.A. Oscars all over the place. De la Hoya, anyone. Later. Go rent, when they're available, Children of Men and Pan's Labyrinth. Still the two best movies of last year!!!