The New York Football Giants

Okay, I've been living and dying with the Giants since Del Shofner dropped an easy touchdown pass in the '63 championship game against the Bears. The Bears were quarterbacked by Rudy Bukich. This is the Bears before Butkus, before Sayers, and long before the 46 defense. Rudy Bukich???!!!! I say this because tonight I watched the Giants try to give a game away to the what, 5-10 Redskins and their quarterback, Rudy Bukich, I mean Jason Campbell. Here are my thoughts on the now playoff-bound Giants:
Eli Manning is the Kid from Deliverance. Yes, the Kid from Deliverance who sat on the porch, just a pickin' and a grinnin'. Even that grin showed more affect, more character, more life, than Eli has shown. Your QB has to inspire. Your QB has to lead. Your QB has to have some body language, some facial expressions, some personality that the other players can feed off. Your QB cannot have slumped shoulders before he even throws the ball (unless you are Joe Willie Namath), a noted lack of shine and sparkle in his eyes, and after the Giants ran the ball on 3rd and 7 or so prior to giving the ball back to the Redskins late in the 4th quarter with the game on the line, rather than trust their franchise quarterback to throw strongly and accurately, your QB must have the confidence of the coaches and his teammates. I am ready for the Jared Lorenzen Era to begin. He went to Kentucky. He was in classes with lots of Kids from Deliverance.
Now, about the second half non-existent pass rush. Oh, and the pass coverage skills of #25 for the Giants, Sam Madison. Sam must think that being in the general area as the receiver is considered good coverage. Now we all know that guys become defensive backs because their hands aren't good enough for them to be receivers. But doesn't this mean they have some idea as to what receivers do? Sam, and the other Giant DB's and safeties don't have a clue.
Can someone with speed take a kickoff for the Giants and head upfield? With all the time spent timing guys in the 40, surely the Giants have someone who can return a kickoff and run fast, maybe even to their own 40? R.W.McQuarters? Isn't this the guy who had a hit years ago with "On the Road to Shambala"? Whoever that guy was, he should be returning kicks for the Giants. He couldn't do worse.
Opposing coaches listen up - on offense, whoever lines up on the right side, just run to a spot 12 to 14 yards downfield and curl in. The Giants will form a proteective cup of three defensive backs, safeties, and maybe even a linebacker. But none closer than 3-5 yards. It is open every down and will continue to be so. And the Giants have yet to stop it. And amazingly, they have yet to try it when they are on offense. In an era when announcers fall over themselves over "the double move!!!" (hey folks, we ran the down, out and up in the schoolyard 40 years ago. And I'm sure they ran it and plays like it before that. "Double move?!" Just shut up.) the Giants have less imagination than, dare I say it, the Kid from Deliverance. The real one. Not Eli.
I feel it is my duty as a Giant fan and an American to thank Giants fans for their equal opportunity when it comes to asking for coaches removal. I was there for the "Goodbye, Allie" chants of the 60s and I watched the "Fire Coughlin" chants of the past few weeks. Allie Sherman was Jewish. Tom Coughlin is a proud Catholic. Both had some success but fell into the funk of failure. I think it is clear. Mr. Tisch, Mr. Mara, the next coach of the Giants should be, must be, Muslim. Ahmad Rashad? Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)? That new Congressman from Minnesota? At least after another heartbreaking, non-imaginative loss we don't have to blame the QB or the DB's or the lack of a pass rush or the coaching and the stale playcalling. We can simply call it what it is - the will of Allah.
Having said all this, Go Blue!