Football Sunday - NFL Week 1

And this is without Direct TV as I've got 100+ foot tall trees in my backyard which interfere with the southwestern exposure needed for satellite transmissions TO MY HOUSE. As they say, we can put a man on the moon but we can't develop a satellite dish that can receive transmissions through leaves and branches!!! On to the games:
Giants 16, Redskins 7 - we live-blogged this game and there's nothing left to say except Chris Samuels is a punk and Kiwi, hope you're healthy. Go Giants. Go Blue.
Baltimore 17, Cincinnati 10 - some people thought that since the ravens were starting a rookie QB, Joe Flacco, that the Bengals would win on the road. But the Ravens still play defense and Ocho Cinco can change his name all he likes - he is a loser and the Bengals, with those ugly, ugly helmets and an aversion to defense, will never be winners.
Jets 20, Dolphins 14 - Brett threw up a lob, a jump ball had it been thrown by Mendy Rudolph, a ball with more hang time than most punts, and since he had seen what Eli did in the Super Bowl, had to emulate and it came down in the arms of an open receiver for a touchdown!!! Not a pretty game but the Jets did enough and they were playing the Dolphins, 1-15 last year. Unlike the unsportsmanlike members of the '72 Dolphins, I break open a bottle of bubbly every time the Dolphins lose. C'mon, Miami, there's just so much champagne I can drink. And every time I hear an announcer call them the Fish I feel the creationists have won. Dolphins are not Fish. They are Mammals and very closely related to us. Even better - millions of years ago, they CHOSE to go back to the water. If only we can convince Republicans today to follow their lead.
New England 17, Chiefs 10 - Brady injured. World mourns. The announcers talked about how "dirty" a play it was. It was inadvertent and it wasn't late. Where were they when Chris Samuels attacked Kiwi from behind??? Nothing else to say. The World waits for news. Supermodels cry and eat an entire salad while they mourn, not thinking of the avoirdupois. But only of their Tom.
Steelers 38, Houston 17 - Twas ever thus. Willie Parker ran for 138, Ben stood tall and didn't ride the Harley, and unless Houston can get Elvin Bethea and Warren Moon and Billy White Shoes they're in for a long year.
Tennessee 17, Jacksonvillle 10 - the phony-baloney Super Bowl contenders from Florida lose a road game they should win. Nothing else to see here. Please go to your homes.
Atlanta 34, Detroit 21 - Ryan's a rookie, he can't possibly win his first game ever. Kitna loves Jesus, he'll get all the help he needs. Folks actually thought "this is a different Lions team". Yes, this is the 2008 version of a bad Lions team. Oh, and Mr. Kitna - Jesus doesn't care about football. He cares about love and peace and love thy neighbor and turn the other cheek and since you're making bank as an NFL QB, it will be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for you, John Kitna, to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Might consider easing up on the praying and more attention to the playing.
Bills 34, Seahawks 10 - Bills D is for real. Seattle will never win as long as you cannot tell from the televsion what color their jerseys are. Green? Blue? Greenish-bluish? WTF!!! Pick a color and stick with it. And with Wilford Brimley as your coach... a win in the Super Bowl is not gonna happen.
Saints 24, Bucs 20 - Hannah, Ike, whatever hurricane is coming next, doesn't matter. Saints have the juju even though Reggie Bush, who should be returning the Heisman any day now, is not a difference maker on an NFL field. The closest player I ever saw to Reggie in college was Johnnie Rodgers. Johnnie Rodgers of Nebraska was a touchdown machine in college, scoring from anywhere on the field. Amazing. And then he went to Canada (not to avoid the draft, btw, but to play their version of our version) and disappeared. Much like Bush in New Orleans.
Eagles 38, Rams 3 - Defenses hate to give up 3. A few yards further back they've got a shut-out. Eagles looked good but Rams stink. McNabb looked good. He'd better, he plays in the best division in football. And the Rams aren't in it.

Late games later.